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Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.

I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.

Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.

A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.

匿名:

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.

The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.

Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.

Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

There is no sincerer love than the love of food.

There is no sincerer love than the love of food.

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

Diet:

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.

Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.

It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software

BDSM:

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

BDSM:

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.

p90x:

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

p90x:

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

匿名:

If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

匿名:

If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

cfnm:

Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.

匿名:

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.

匿名:

I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently

If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.

It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.

If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.

匿名:

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

Anal:

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.

匿名:

In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.

匿名:

It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.

To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.

匿名:

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!

匿名:

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.

匿名:

The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.

匿名:

Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.

匿名:

Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

匿名:

Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.

The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.

匿名:

Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.

匿名:

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.

Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.

匿名:

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.

匿名:

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

匿名:

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

匿名:

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

匿名:

Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.

匿名:

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.

匿名:

The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.

A camel is a horse designed by a committee

匿名:

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

匿名:

Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

匿名:

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.

Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.

Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.

匿名:

UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

匿名:

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.

匿名:

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.

In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

匿名:

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

匿名:

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.

A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.

匿名:

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.

匿名:

Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.

匿名:

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.

匿名:

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes

匿名:

The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!

Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?

匿名:

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.

匿名:

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.

匿名:

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.

匿名:

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

匿名:

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.

After every 'victory' you have more enemies.

匿名:

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

匿名:

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

匿名:

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

匿名:

The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

匿名:

The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

匿名:

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.

匿名:

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

匿名:

If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.

匿名:

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.

匿名:

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

匿名:

Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.

匿名:

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

匿名:

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

匿名:

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

匿名:

Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.

Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.

Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.

Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.

匿名:

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

匿名:

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

匿名:

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

匿名:

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

HGH:

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Smith & Wesson — the original point and click interface.

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.

If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.

If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.

No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.

Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'

'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'

Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.

You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

p90x:

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.

p90x:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.

They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.

Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

Soma:

Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.

Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.

Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.

Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

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Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass' favor.

The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it'll do even better in those areas, but for now it's a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod's strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

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The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it'll do even better in those areas, but for now it's a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod's strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

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I'll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

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